Desire (#5)

By: Carrie Cox

1





I STARED DOWN AT the pregnancy test in my hand, still rooted to the spot in the restroom. I couldn’t believe it. How could this have happened? We always used protection, except – Oh, God – except for that afternoon at the Vastors’ house.

I blinked, hoping one of the pale blue lines might disappear before my eyes, but both lines remained stubbornly in place.

I heard the door squeak open as someone else entered the restroom. I wrapped the test in tissue then dumped it in the bin and exited the stall.

My hands trembled as I tried to extract soap from the dispenser. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were wide, but other than that I didn’t look any different. How could I be a mother? I wasn’t ready, and – Holy Crap – I knew Benjamin wasn’t ready to be a father. He’d only just come around to the idea of a relationship.

But I couldn’t keep it from him. He’d notice soon enough when my belly started to expand. I’d have to tell him tonight. But how? I’d give him heart failure if I just blurted it out.

I heard the toilet flush in one of the stalls behind me, reached for a paper towel to dry my hands and then hurried out before I would have to smile and make small talk. I didn’t think I could manage that right now.

The rest of the day passed slowly. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was distracted and couldn’t focus on my work. Usually concentrating on an art project made me forget my worries, but today it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t stop my mind whirling through ways I could break this news to Benjamin.

It wasn’t until I left the Preservation Society at the end of the day and headed over to my old red truck that I remembered Colin and Tina were coming to dinner tonight to celebrate my sister’s last day at rehab. I really thought she had made it this time. She had done so well. I couldn’t ruin her evening.

I climbed into the truck, breathing in the familiar smell of the linseed oil from my equipment in the back. I started up the old girl and turned on the air heater. Autumn had chilled the air considerably in the last week. I watched as a gust of wind blew red and golden leaves into the road from the branches of a maple tree.

I would tell Benjamin tomorrow. There was no point in spoiling the evening for everyone else and one extra day wouldn’t make any difference.

I smiled to myself as I put my foot on the gas and my truck roared to life. Benjamin had tried his best to convince me to drive one of his cars. He even said he would buy me any car I wanted if only I stopped driving this truck. I’d resisted so far. I loved the old girl. I didn’t want to consign her to scrap, but I did enjoy driving Benjamin’s Aston Martin around Newport.

I felt a little better now. Knowing I wouldn’t have to tell Benjamin tonight calmed me.

I arrived home and was surprised to realise Benjamin was already home. I entered the master bedroom and could hear the shower running. He’d left the bathroom door slightly ajar.

I licked my lips, imagining Benjamin naked in the shower, hot water cascading down his toned body. An overwhelming urge to join him tingled through me. Should I?

I couldn’t resist.

I stepped inside the bathroom. The fragrant steam enveloped me, making my hair frizz and my cheeks flush.

The panel of glass separating me from Benjamin had steamed over, hiding areas of Benjamin’s body from my hungry eyes, but I could see enough to make my heart race.

I pulled off my clothes being as quiet as possible. He had his back to me, the water running down that beautiful toned back.

I stood naked, my heart thundering in my chest. I wasn’t so sure this was a good idea after all. What if he turned me away?

As I stood there debating with myself, he turned. His eyes widened, and his mouth parted when he saw me. Heat pooled between my legs when I saw his eyes darken.

After a moment, he beckoned me forward.

I stepped inside the shower and gasped at the heat of the water.

“Have you come to wash my back, Kate?” he asked.

His deep, sexy voice sent tremors of desire down to the apex of my thighs, but I couldn’t respond. I was mesmerised by those amazing dark eyes.

He squirted some shower gel on his hands and rubbed them together, creating foamy bubbles.

Oh my. I hoped he was planning to use that on me.

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